Violet, the most intense color formed on the light spectrum is also one of the most beautiful colors our eyes can see. The color violet forms from the short intense light waves that bounce off objects and produce the vibrant beautiful color. That’s how I’d describe my friend Violet, intense, loving, electric, and beautiful.
I believe our friends are a reflection of our inner desires, each person that we hold close in our lives possesses qualities that we covet and learn to absorb. I have many friends and each one of them is important to me but there is always that core of a few friends that combined make one perfect entity.
I’ve been asked to describe my core group of friends in a way that can produce a visual of them so you can connect to them as well. I can’t give a full description of them physically because then the anonymity is lost, but I will combine all of our best features into one perfect person because that’s what we really are to each other. The combination of our best physical features and the best parts of our personalities bring us together as a whole.
Violet and I have been friends for years, ever since our children were young and in elementary school. I met her not long after I’d moved to the Lowcountry in 2002. Truth is when I first met her I didn’t care for her, I found her to be unbending, a little short, and her ability to charm was completely lost on me. She’s a woman who says what she means and means what she says. If it wasn’t what she wanted to do or believed in, tough shit. Certainly not the Southern way of “well let’s make it work”; it’s a quality that I’ve come to absolutely love. She has a fierce passion for her family and friends and would do anything for them. I thought of her as a Mt. Pleasant mom that only did the right thing all the time: a soccer mom, troop leader and room mom, not really qualities that I posses. However, she has definitely taken care of me over the last couple of years. Listened to me cry and supported me even if she didn’t agree but she always told me what she thought. I would have been lost without her. I love how beautiful she is with her straight thick blonde hair and strong angled features.
The first time I knew we’d be forever friends is so typical of our friendship now it makes me laugh. Out one evening with a group of friends all of whom are still in my life today. We walked into Richards, anyone that knows Richards knows that you never know what you’re going to get when you walk through those doors. Any time you go to Richards it’s always the last stop of the night. When I walked in and saw this woman, that I had a completely different opinion of, playing pool with a couple of older men in overalls and trucker hats I knew I had met my match. She looked at me as if she’d been busted and I looked at her as if; I’ve so busted your ass. We’ve been secretly keeping our time at Richards between us ever since.
Recently, Violet has been going through her own personal struggles and has needed me to be there for her, to hold her hand, listen to her cry and supporting her the only way I know how, to give her the room to go through her struggles and know that no matter what she chooses I’ll still be there. It made me realize what a terrible friend I’ve been for the last couple of years. I was so lost in my own grief and poor decision-making, constantly drawing from my friends for support when they really needed me too. Grief and depression not only take a toll on the individual but on those in connection with us as well.
It’s so wonderful to be able to feel the light beginning to reflect through me again. I know that there will still be moments of sadness and darkness, a new color of light is what I’m reflecting for myself today.