I love my lucky jeans. Not the kind of lucky that has rainbows shooting out of my ass but my Lucky Brand Jeans. They really make my butt look great. The best part of wearing a pair of Lucky Jeans is that when you’re in that moment, laying on your back and a man is unzipping your jeans to pull them off; when he opens the fly there is a little tag sown into the zipper that says “Lucky You”. Perfect right? I mean if a man gets to that point, trust me he’s pretty damn lucky. I think I should start a jean company called Caution but it should say “Enter with caution, may cause complete insanity.”
But that’s not the point of this story. It’s about my trip to New York City for my 40th birthday a couple of years back and the night I wore my Lucky Jeans to Lucky Chengs. I’ve come to appreciate experiencing new things in my life. What’s the point if you’re not willing to live outside the box and push yourself to see the world as an opportunity to live a few moments in someone else’s life; to walk in their shoes, to get to know their story. It can be hysterically funny, sad, touching and at times very bizarre. What is bizarre? Is it going to work every day doing the same thing: driving your kids to soccer practice, cooking the same seven meals every week, going to bed just after the 11 o’clock news? That is bizarre to a lot of people. So at 41 I’ve decided I’m no longer living in my bubble, I’m living my life in reverse and I’m gonna see what the world has to offer. I believe there are certain things everyone should experience at least once like; rodeos, tractor pulls, mud wrestling, roller derbies and of course Asian drag queen shows.
In April of 2010 I met a couple of my girlfriends in NYC. We all flew in separately since we live all over the country. We spent a four day weekend in the city just being silly, shopping, eating street food, a Broadway play and of course cocktails, lots and lots of cocktails. It was a really interesting trip, it seemed as if we couldn’t find a straight man anywhere in the city, or women for that matter. But we didn’t care we went with the flow and had a blast with everyone we met.
On our last night in the city, we went out to celebrate my birthday. If you’re not familiar with Lucky Chengs, it’s a famous all Asian Drag Show club in the city. Lucky Chengs is definitely a destination not to be missed. We chose to go on probably the worst night, a Sunday but it did not stop us from having a blast.
The oddest thing about this particular evening was that a birthday party going on, no biggie right. Wrong, it was for a bunch of 13-year-old girls! Huh? Who takes their 13 year olds to see an Asian Drag Queen Show, lap dances were not optional? Jersey Shores new cast members I guess. Any who. We sat at the bar for a bit and met a man that we dubbed Dragon Slayer, he looked just like Coach from Survivor. He obviously hung out at this club a lot, he knew all the… “girls”. Of course my girlfriends, with a little help from Slayer, picked out a very attractive…”girl” for me to get a lap dance from… she was kinda cute. Now I’ve had lap dances before (another post) but what I didn’t realize was that this lap dance involved me being on stage for the show. Yes, that’s right PART of the show. This brought a whole new meaning to getting the audience involved!
This is where my attire for the evening came into play. I was wearing my Lucky jeans, a black tank top and a couple of LONG necklaces. Big mistake! Huge! As I’m being pulled to the stage I realize this is gonna be crazy.
As the music starts and “she” starts dancing around me all I could think was wow what an amazing “roll & tuck” job cause I can’t tell! This is where it got really interesting as my lovely “lady” was grinding “her lady parts” on my chest something bizarre happened, her fish nets were caught on my long necklace. So every time she pulled away I had to go with her, my face being continually pulled to her crotch. As I struggled to take my necklace off, laughing hysterically, she didn’t miss a beat, she just kept going until I was free but my necklace remained dangling between her legs. Did she stop? Nope! She kept going, right into picking me up by my waist doing a full body spin flipping me upside down into a handstand with my head in her lap. I didn’t even know I could do that? She was strong! Before I knew it, it was over and I was taking a bow and trying to get my necklace from between her legs.
An experience I will never forget. I will always laugh out loud when I think about that particular lap dance to celebrate my birthday, my lucky night. Time with my friends, my sisters… laughing being silly and experiencing something new. The thing I learned? Drag Queens are just people too they were all sweet and kind and had an interesting story. In addition, long necklaces and fishnets are not a good combination.
Maybe Lucky Brand Jeans should change their tag to “Lucky Me.” Life is fun if you’re willing to let go a little.