People Are Strange

I’m aware that I chose a provocative title for my blog and it doesn’t necessarily reflect the content of the material.  So I try not to be offended by the search inquiries that bring people to my site. However some of the things people search are funny and some of it is downright disturbing.

WordPress (my blog host) provides statistics on site visits etc… One of the things it provides is the search terms. Yes I get the terms you type into Google, Bing or whatever search engine you’re using, provided in my site statistics. Here’s a list of the top 15 with some advice attached. These are direct quotes spelling and grammar mistakes included.

1.  “g spots restaurant little people” – WTF? I know little people have g spots too but why are you looking for a restaurant in relation to that?

2.  “burning pain in gspot, legs and feet” – I have NO idea how those three areas are burning but you need more than Google’s help.

3.  “my husband is straight how do I find his g spot” — Ummm after you somehow convince him he’s not gay because you are entering his exit only; it’s about 2.5 inches in and toward his abdominal wall.  You might wanna take an anatomy class and cut your nails.

4.  “When I touch my girlfriends g spot she feels like she wants to wee” – Congratulations you found the Holy Grail stay in that spot for a while, trust me she wont wee.

5.  “Upside down hits the g spot everytime” – I’ll be trying that tonight.

6.  “do ass whole has g spot” – Grammar, grammar, grammar. No the WHOLE ass does not have a g spot.

7.  “self sex for men g spot” – They have toys for that…

8.  “g spot summer dinner” – Strawberries and whipped cream?

9.  “how good is the shocker” – Pretty damn good.

10.  “i got a brazilian and its burning” – No shit!

11.  “what does it mean when a guy says he never found your g spot” – Means he is single.

12.  “I’m just looking for a little slap & tickle” – Aren’t we all.

13.  “horse pee rainbow tattoo” Huhhhh??? How do those words go together on a Google search? And if it’s out there I wanna see that tattoo.

14.  “is it a boil or my g-spot?” Ewwww pretty sure if you’re searching that question, it’s not your gspot.

15.  “does monkey butt work for razor burn?”  I really hope you’re talking about the powder…

Now the disturbing….  For all you mother-effers out there searching things like; little girls g spot or my daughter’s g spot. YOU ARE OFFICIALLY ON NOTICE. I am in the process of finding out if you can be tracked down, don’t know if it’s possible yet but damn it I’m gonna try.